I had my first seizure/convulsion at the age of 7. I had slept and suddenly woke up to my mouth twisted to one side and my eyes fluttering really fast. Somehow, I knew to get up from the bed and walk to where I knew my grandma would be sitting. I remember hitting her like crazy and pointing to my face. I remember hearing all hell break loose. I remember them screaming my name. I remember my mum in particular shouting for someone to bring this and bring that. I remember being carried and taken to the hospital that was only a few minutes walk from our flat. I couldn’t see anything but I was aware of everything happening around me. I remember coming to at the hospital and wondering why the heck whatever it was that happened to me happened.
I had more of those seizures until I was 11 years old and they happened the exact same way as my first…and I remember them all. They terrified me and I was always afraid when night time came. As I got older, the fear remained, going to bed was a nightmare especially when I was away from home. I guess that’s why I became a night owl…going to bed freaked me out and I became more productive at night time. Even well into my 20s, the fear remained.
One day, I had had enough and I said “no more”! I cannot and will not live like this. I prayed, I affirmed and talked about it to those close to me. Every time the thought came, I banished them mostly with scriptures and affirmations. It wasn’t easy and it didn’t stop overnight but I didn’t give up, and although I’m still a night owl, I don’t live with that fear anymore.
Fear is a natural response to physical danger, but it can very easily be self-created
Fear is a natural response to physical danger, but it can very easily be self-created. It could be the fear of: failure, the future, losing those we love, dying, etc. Whatever that self-created fear is, the key to overcoming it is recognising what it is when it kicks in and facing it head-on. Tackle it physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Don’t suffer in silence, talk about it to your loved ones or someone you trust. It may take a while but you will eventually overcome it, so keep on keeping on! You are strong, resilient, powerful and brave, and can overcome any obstacle.
Have you struggled with self-created/irrational fear? How did you/have you handled it?
Blessings,
